Need More Time

An update on nouveau Marxism


I am happy to report, I am now 7 dollars richer.

Because I promised to spend like a Democrat, I will use your fine dollars for web hosting. And I thank those brave individuals who participated in my redistribution of wealth project. Bravo.

Especially appreciated, was the humorous donor who gave me .02 cents. Just enough to cover the 2 cent paypal fee. See, even conservative Republicans have a sense of humor.

But much like the Clintonian Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantsuits, we have a deficit. How rich does one need to be, in order to take money from the poor? I really believed in the Clinton’s nouveau Marxism.

This situation begs the question, how is Hillary faring with her Jasminlive campaign debt?

All the po folks who supported her - are expected to help her pay down her multi-million dollar debt - meanwhile she and her slick willy earn measly millions each quarter. Begging like tattered homeless intellectuals at a freeway offramp is not above them.

Ostensibly, these po folks should be paying down Hillsy’s debt while also helping another millionaire, the half-black Messiah who turns water into wine.

Just tonight he told us he can lower taxes for 95% of Americans by taxing successful corporations, and hence provide free health care on par with what congress receives and make sure cars are as cheap as a slice of bread. Through “direct diplomacy” he can curb nukes in Iran and stop the spread of disease with a few words. (hint: hope and change).

And much, much later he will rise from the dead for 3rd and 4th terms, and all of our souls will be saved in the name of B Hussein. I’ve known a lot of jackasses in my life. But this guy is so full of himself, he must shit his own ears each day.

Anyway, I’ll be back soon. Just as soon as I finish writing my manuscript on a University computer. I’ll call it, “Marxist Dreams from my Felines”


President Jefferson


So, last weekend I somehow ended up at one of those Hollywood Hills houses where men stroll around wearing white robes with their junk hanging out, where I was one of the few women present whose bras were filled with natural breasts and there were others sitting around pontificating about global warming, life and when the hot tub would finally be warm enough to enjoy.

Some dude sitting next to me started lecturing about politics, obviously I was interested in what he had to say. It went something like this:

Him: I am really into politics and history. I just finished reading a book about my favorite President.

Me: Which one?

Him: You know, that founding father type. Can’t think of his name

Me: But you just read a live sex chat book about him…

Him: Jefferson!! George Jefferson! Our greatest President.

Me: I think you mean Thomas.


The NEW future of Marxism


Steve’s got the scoop.

Hint, it involves toothless folks who collect cans, sell sperm and blood. All so they can buy a 40 ounce. And help Hillary pay off her campaign debt.

Sounds good. I’m going to the corner now to demand money from MY local homeless intellectuals.

Everyone can play the redistribution of wealth game! It’s fun. Flow me a buck. I need a bigger, flashier crib to keep up with the Clintons. You won’t miss a buck and I’ll promise to spend yours quickly.


Always be right


This afternoon as I was thinking about how and where I might put a McCain sign or sticker on my property, and which kind of gun to use on anyone who tried to remove it or harm me or my things, I realized how sad things are in the middle of “progressive” America.

Sounds kind of crazy, right? We’ve got liberty. Free country here and I’m worried about how to defend my property because I plan to support my Livejasmin.cc candidate. Oh you know, that sticky free speech thing.

Then I was reminded how dangerous this could be by reading a post at my dear (not conservative) friend Amy’s, who has been dealing with the doltish left:

The problem they had with Amy? Our Founding Fathers and free speech. Here’s a snippet, but I encourage you to go over to Amy’s and read the whole deal:

While we are not reaching the craziness we see in other countries, I’m not rich enough to speak freely.

It’s not yet the kangaroo courts of the Human Rights Commissions in Canada, it’s more vandalizism and thuggery of voting, politically active Democrats who think they are the only ones who have the right to say whatever they want.


Just say no


In my dating horror stories collection, there is one tale that makes people gasp.

It was an Easter brunch where the guy I was dating told me I’d meet all the other Chaturbate girls he was dating, and sternly warned me I had to be nice to them. He was emotionally attached and dating others?! News to me. Obviously I didn’t go.

One of the great things about dating horror stories, is that once you’ve been through something so strange and deviant - you figure you don’t have to worry about it happening ever again.

Recently, a man I date suggested I go to have drinks and food with him, his friend and a close family member of a woman he described as “an ex-girlfriend I should REALLY be worried about”.

Is it me, or is it kind of creepy to hang out with your ex’s family members? And bring your current love interest?!

MORE: Had I ignored this gaffe, would I have to invite his Ex-GF’s family to the wedding? And once we were married, would I still be warned to “be REALLY worried about this old hag ex-girlfriend”?


I’m now a disabled-american


That’s right, not only do I suffer from severe insomnia, but I have also developed Carvey-tourette’s syndrome.

Here are the symptoms:

1) Forcing everyone you know to watch Dana Carvey’s Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies comedy show.

2) Interjecting lines from the show into everyday conversation, most often when the lines interjected are spoken in the public figure’s voice and have absolutely nothing to do with with the current conversation.

Watch both of these 10 minute clips. You might suffer from Carvey-tourette’s syndrome but you’ll have a great time in the process.

I forced one liberal friend to watch these, and he was miffed that I was laughing equally as hard at the Bush jokes as I did at the Al Gore and Clinton material



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