Social Life After Baby
by Martinique Davis
Nov 19, 2008 | 1335 views | 0 0 comments | 13 13 recommendations | email to a friend | print

A few weeks ago, I wrote about losing my friends (and abs) with the advent of motherhood.

After reading my piece, a non-mom girlfriend said she had never thought about new mothers feeling the loss of friendship after baby arrives. “I always just thought of how I was losing another friend,” she told me.

We speak of “losing” like it’s a bereavement, the untimely demise of girls’ nights out and shared chocolate bars atop mountain ridges. And, mostly, it is true that these things have been lost, at least until Baby matures into a being that doesn’t require constant supervision. (When, by the way, does that happen?)

But while I lament the stark absence of regular girlfriend dates on my current social calendar, which is otherwise brimming with such exciting happenings as “Walking Elle around the living room,” “Finding something Elle will eat” and “Trying to get Elle to go to sleep,” I have found reason to believe that all hope is not lost in the quest for Social Life after Baby. It is simply a matter of realigning what you consider to be entertaining – and then, of course, locating other moms who’ve done the same.

On one of the sunny days last weekend, when it appeared as though winter had decided to play fickle after all, my friend Cinda called to see if Elle and I wanted to join her and Sage at the Ouray Hot Springs. Had this been a girlfriend without a child calling to invite us on a full half-day outing requiring departure time dictated by nap time, transfer of car seat, and interruption of relaxing soak on account of need for snacks or a new diaper…OK, it is a totally implausible scenario that someone without a child would invite me to go to the Hot Springs. The fact was that Cinda is privy to how my day as a mother revolves around naps, snacks and trips to the bathroom, and so I readily agreed to the Girls Pool Party.

This is how a trip to the Ouray Hot Springs is different after you have a child: Instead of lounging in the hot section of the pool discussing the outcome of the election and other lofty topics, you are playing motor boat in the warm pool. You are chasing after errant pool toys, the hunt for which can cause much excitement. You are splashing, and getting your hair wet, and not paying much attention to that tummy roll hanging over the top of your bikini bottom – because you can’t take your eye off your kid for one second. And you’re doing a lot more laughing. Laughing at the way babies like to be swished around in a colossal bathtub. Laughing at the way their wet hair sticks up funny. Laughing at them laughing at you. And, with any hope, you have two very sleepy little girls in the back seat on the way home, allowing you and your friend to talk like adults for a change.

Us Telluride moms are lucky we have so many women, all these fun-loving mountain mamas, with whom to share the hilarity of motherhood. Shirts covered in throw-up and sleep deprivation-induced grumpiness we share as well – these are all facets of our evolution as women raising fun-loving mountain munchkins.
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