DON’T BE PARANOID … Or Pair Annoyed, if you prefer company … That is, just because you click on your browser, call up your mail and before connecting you get a quickflash message that reads: Due to Presidential Order, Homeland Security may have read this email without prior warning, warrant, or notice. Ouch! … So, who really cares that the real Illuminati met at the Bilderberg Group meeting in Chantilly, Va., and you never heard a word about it. Damn! … But you can feel secure that the ones in charge here had a run-through of a dirty suitcase nuke going off in San Francisco or Chicago or Houston or D.C., and guess what conclusion they came to? We’re not prepared to handle it. *#*@*&*!! … Who would have imagined a president and a cabinet created whole cloth off the pages of MAD magazine?
WEST COAST AHEAD … I admit it. I was a brie and mocha liberal when I came to Telluride almost 30 years ago. It took a few years for triple crème cheeses and specialty coffee makers to find our corner of the San Juans, but eventually they did. So what could I possibly find out in California now that goes beyond my addiction to soft creamy French cheeses? … Try soft creamy American cheeses, specifically those available at CowgirlCreamery.com created by Sue Conley and Peggy Smith in Marin County’s Pt. Reyes Station. Their Mt. Tam is a smooth, elegant, 10-oz., triple-cream – made with organic milk from the Straus Family Dairy. This tasty cheese is firm, yet buttery with a mellow, earthy flavor reminiscent of white mushrooms. Mt. Tam won first prize in the soft-ripened category at this year’s American Cheese Society competition … Yowser! It’s beyond delicious, and it’s made right here in our own country. It’s even available online, though at about double the price I pay for it at Whole Foods in Los Altos. But if you love triple crème cheeses, this one is phenomenal … Since it’s strictly counter-indicated for all my current medical conditions, I’ve limited myself to only two rounds in two months. Which is harsh depravation, from an addict’s standpoint … So, careful. One taste could make you an addict, too.
DEVIANT BON-BONZ … Back in Seminary, when still a naïf and barely a teen, I started out on what’s turned-into a life-long spiritual conversation/bullshit session class walk with an eclectic assemblage of poor patch matchstick immortal products of Cardinal Newman’s much-vaunted Renaissance-era liberal arts education (but under Sulpicians not Jesuits – think DiVinci Code, direct ties to the Vatican, et cum spiritu tuo) … And so, in jousting repartee among many wise minds from very different belief systems, comes now my super cynical ultra-partisan shadow side, where I can be as dark as I want to be; and, while others will vehemently (and persuasively) disagree, we will remain friends … So I gotta say it … It's damn ironic. All ’dem recycled Raygun rightwing dingalings proud of how the GOP brought down the Berlin Wall and opened up the Soviet Bloc to Capitalism. Hurrah! … And now it's these same neomoronic con men and their pet dragons putting up a new Berlin Wall on our southern border! Telling all our brown-skinned have-not compadres y comadres (who only want to work for us at Wal-mart wages) to stay the f*** out! … I mean, as immigrants ourselves, what gall! Damn ironic … Tell you what, Sarky. Time to pack up Ellis Island’s La Liberté and take her back to France … Unlike what TV warned us about all our brown-skinned have-not comrades in the Fifties (“I like Ike!”), it’s not the Commies who infiltrated us. Corporate Bush is building our own soviet-style Tijuana Wall of Empire right this sec. I mean, Pogo said it, “We’ve seen the enemy and he is us.”
PLATE TECTONICS … Some older Telluriders will recall Doann Haines who changed into Houghton-Alico while living here (now just Houghton) back in the turbulent Seventies, when she took John Roth’s place on an early newcomer Town Council. Having met her at a Talking Gourds festival a few years back, she’s kept me on her listserv for travelogues of her world cruising – she and her husband spend six months of the year touring the world in their boat and then six months up in Colorado’s South Park area where they have a home … Her account of a visit to the Mediterranean island of Cyprus earlier this year caught my eye … One, because Mt. Olympus was once considered the abode of the gods in the ancient Greek pantheon (I had forgotten that the actual mountain was on Cyprus – understandable, though, if you remember that the Mycenae culture preceded the classical Greek era) … And second, because of the geological curiosity that Doann reveals here. It made me wonder, is there any ophiolite in Ophir? … Here is a short edited excerpt … “After Kourion we drove up to the Troödos mountains, where we visited captivating Byzantine churches with amazing, well-preserved, colorful frescoes of countless Biblical stories and characters, and hiked around Mt. Olympus, along the geologically famous ophiolite. I know you want to know just what that is! In the story of oceanic and continental plate movement, when they collide, usually the oceanic plate is turned down into a subduction trench. As Dr. Ron Dutton wrote in Troödos: From Sea to Summit, ‘Occasionally, a chunk of oceanic floor beats the customary fate of subduction, survives, and winds up on the edge of a continental plate. Such a stray slab of ocean crust is’ – you guessed it – ‘an ophiolite and Troödos represents one of the best preserved and exposed examples of this geological wonder.’ What’s even more amazing about Troödos (that the bottom of the ocean is now on the top of the highest mountain in Cyprus) is that its contents are in reverse order to the norm, so that the deepest layer, the peridotite-type rocks are on top, and the ordinarily top layer of ocean floor debris is on the bottom. If you don’t know what you’re walking on and around, it all just looks like a lot of rocks, but once you understand what it is, it’s quite amazing. In addition, on this same hike, we saw the remnants of the Venetian walls, their last stand against the invading Ottomans; walls no doubt made up of ophiolite.”
© 2008 Art Goodtimes
THE TALKING GOURD
a hai-couth translation
of a Mexican pop jingle
Chocolate takes you to your knees.
Rub palms. Whip a froth.
To drink divine.